PES is short for Positive Emily Spirit - the only thing that is going to get me (and the rest of team PES) through this. PES is a play on PHS - Positive Husky Spirit. My senior year of college my friends and I had season tickets to the Huskies. (Almost) every home game they were down in the 3rd quarter and it didn't look very good. And yet, every one of those games, they pulled it out for a win. My friends and I created PHS - Positive Husky Spirit - as our slogan for the season and it's stuck. P--S means never believing that the fight is over, never giving up and always showing your support. For the Huskies, that meant never leaving a game early and always making sure we had our Husky gear on. It also means that we sit through the crappy games (and there have been some of those!) so that we can celebrate the great games. For PES, it means only looking towards my cancer-free future and not getting stuck in my cancer-filled present. It also means never doubting that I will win and cancer will lose and I've got my cheering section around me. My mom made great PES bracelets for anyone interested. I wear mine every day and it reminds me not only to fight, but also to remember that I'm never fighting alone. If you'd like to rock a PES bracelet, you can email me at positiveemilyspirit@gmail.com and we'll get one sent out to you.
What is my official diagnosis?
I have stage 3 Hodgkin's lymphoma. Stage 3 sounds much scarier than it really is. Still not great but Hodgkins is one of the most cureable forms of cancer. The Mayo Clinic has a great website with more info - http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/hodgkins-disease/DS00186.
I am stage 3 because I have more than one tumor and my tumors are in more than one quadrant of my body. I have tumors in the lymphnode in my neck, my chest and my spleen.
When (how) was I diagnosed?
Well this is a pretty crazy story. Early in the morning of December 11 (like 1:00 am), I woke up with just about the worst pain you can imagine in my back and stomach. I thought for sure it was kidney stones and tried for about 10 minutes to just walk it off. It wasn't getting any better so I decided that I should go to the emergency room. They can't do much for kidney stones except give you morphine for the pain until they pass but morphine was sounding pretty good to me right then. I decided to go to Swedish in Ballard which was the first of a bunch of great decisions. There was no wait at all (I think I was the only patient there all night) and so they admitted me right away. Wouldn't you know that the pain went away immediately after I was admitted. But once the doctors have their hands on you, they won't let you go! I was laying there in my room thinking "this has got to be the most expensive stomach ache ever," imagining the hospital bills piling up around me. The doctor decided that I should have a chest x-ray, just to confirm that it was in fact kidney stones (good decision #2!). He seemed slightly concerned that the pain had gone away so quickly. As I waited in the room, I just kept beating myself up for going to the emergency room. At about 4:30 am, the doctor walked in and told me that the results of the x-ray came back and there were no kidney stones (oh great, what a hypocondriat!) but that they found a mass in my chest, it was likely cancer and they wanted to do a CT scan to confirm. What a load to hear at 4:30 in the morning, alone in the emergency room, with about an hour's sleep! They did the CT scan and confirmed that it was Hodgkins. The doctor sent me home with some meds in case the pain came back (with still very little idea of what had caused it in the first place) and my attending nurse told me it was not inappropriate to open a bottle of wine as soon as I got home. I had further tests in the following days and confirmed that it was Hodgkins and that there were two more tumors - one in the lymphnode in my neck and one in my spleen.
What do I need?
I have just about the best day to day care network possible. I have yet to attend a single appointment or test alone and during my two weeks of daily injections for my egg extraction, I only had to give one shot myself and that was just because I got impatient! But I really need all the prayers, wishes, thoughts and kitty purrs that can be sent my way. I know I have just about a 100% chance of beating this but I'm still scared and a whole host of other emotions. Here are some specific concerns/prayer requests:
- Moving in my with parents has not been the easiest thing for any of us, or our two cats! Although we're making the best of a tough situation, prayers that we'll continue to figure out how to live together as adults even while I'm needing some care like a child.
- Specific prayer requests for my parents through this. I'm sure that having your adult child go through cancer and need to be cared for can't be easy and I'd like God's steadying hand on them as they navigate this horrible experience.
- So far my treatments have all been pretty OK, but I'd really like that to continue. Not too much exhaustion or nausea and the ability to keep having some fun things in my life, even while I'm having treatment.
How you can help...
Besides the amazing prayers, wishes, thoughts, purrs, etc. that I've felt rolling in from the first moment, I've decided to raise money for a few groups that are close to my heart right now. Please consider giving to any one of these at any level. There will also be more interactive fund-raising opportunities that I hope to put together after I'm done with treatment so watch for those.
Team Positive Emily Spirit - I'm raising money to participate in the LIVESTRONG Austin bike ride in October - http://laf.livestrong.org/site/TR/Challenge/General?px=1019084&pg=personal&fr_id=1182
Thrive Through Cancer - I read a posting by the woman who started Thrive Through Cancer at my fertility clinic. She too went through an egg extraction prior to starting chemo. She started this charity to focus on 20 and 30-somethings that are diagnosed with cancer. She found that there was a lot of support for women and children but wanted to focus on this other group. Right now they are collecting donations to send Hope Totes to newly diagnosed young adult cancer patients but they are creating a financial assistance fund as well for those who are not as fortunate as me to have great insurance and be able to keep their job. http://thrivethroughcancer.org/about/
The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society is an obvious choice. They are raising money to research blood cancers - http://www.lls.org/#/waystohelp/donate/
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